The sumo challenge

I once had this friend who, whenever he couldn’t think of anything interesting to say would mumble, “And uhh, doobie doo”. 

Another had a penchant for challenging me to Sumo wrestle or asking me act out a semi-choreographed fight scene on my neigbour’s front lawn. Another, one guy with a steel tip, liked to share grapes, which he peeled and said were eyeballs.

Still, one more had the ability to shatter glass with the power of her, yes, her, almighty belch.  Not a laddette, but a refined lady she was and still is. Although she might argue with me if I offer her 3 Little Kings or a root beer.

All of this sets me to wonder why it is, after one passes the age of oh, say, ten, it is no longer considered socially intelligent to walk up to someone and blurt out, “Let’s be friends!”  

Ah, yes, You see my point.  Having something like that happen calls to mind all sorts of non-PC images and comments, dunnit?  Names like Moose and Moe Syzlak come to

Something happens as you pass the age of 30. It becomes harder to find friends. You rely on those you already know or work with begin to fill the friend pool, and you have to hope the people you meet aren’t going to make your eyes burn like too much chlorine in the water. If you’re married you may end up socialising with your spouse’s friends or work colleagues and you might wish chlorinated water would burn your eyes out. More or less, it’s like this: You’ve got pick up line for chicks, the Pleased to meet you, I’ve meat to please you ilk, but no pick up lines to make friends.

If you’re lucky you meet someone at a writers conference and you think they’re bitchin’.  If you’re luckier, they think you’re groovy and hot damn, you’ve got yourself a pal.
It comes down to those curious segues, the belching, green grape eyeballs and Sumo challenges.


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