Bizarro news story of the day?
The common cold makes you fat.
I’m not kidding. The story, on News.scotsman.com, says researches have discovered cold virus-infected cells make fat, which makes you fat.
If I read this correctly, there is a gene in adenovirus-36 (ad-36), the human virus which accounts for over half of all common colds (are there uncommon colds?), and, in some people, it’s responsible for the accumulation of fat storage cells.
Now this is kind of cool. It makes me hopeful because, if scientists can pinpoint a gene in a virus and isolate its effect and work on some kind of vaccine, one day they will establish the same for other certain human characteristics.
Like Acute Dickheadism.
Imagine, how wonderful it would be if research scientists isolated the Asshole gene?
Think of it. One day there could be a vaccine for, narcissistic poseurs, another inoculation for intolerant bastards, and a booster shot for those prone to declaring war.
Ok, so the war thing is a little far fetched. Just go with me. I’m thinking along the lines of Minority Report (triplets could see the future and the criminals were arrested before committing the crime), but without that Big Brother feel. If you could isolate the Warmonger gene (wm-1) in some human virus, and establish who had been exposed to the virus (you’d know because the sneezing, runny nose, and moustache despots always seem to have) you could offer a vaccine—like the polio drops.
Quit laughing.
I’d like a world without a Dafur and Iraq.
Man, I watched a lot of Sesame Street growing up, didn’t I?
And you laughed when I complained about Civilizations III…
Hey, now!
I did not such thing. I urged you to become a dictator–albeit I left out the word benevolent.