Bless me father for I have shirked.

I’ve been a bad, bad girl, and not the one Fiona Apple sings about. Not even close.  My sin is far worse.

I’m guilty of going to work and not working.

Why? Why would I do such a thing?

My oral presentation is a week from tomorrow. I compulsively organizing my thoughts and my thesis into a semblance of spectacularness. I spend nearly every waking hour doing something thesis related. Can you believe I’m still researching, still checking for new data, or stats I can add so I’ll look really fresh, oh-so academic, and not be the big fat faker I am?

Yeah. Me neither. But I am.

I’m also obsessively editing A Basic Renovation.   Although I don’t know what to edit anymore. I have no idea what to chop out. And I’m not ever sure I need to chop anything out.  But I comb through it anyway.

So there I am, at work, getting paid, and the work I’m doing is my own.

Oh, OK. I’m lying  a little  I’m on top of the office tasks. But I haven’t told anyone their stuff is done or asked if there’s something else they need me to do…

I don’t need to quit my day job because I’m just there, alone in my office….writing.

Yes! Yes! I’m pure EVIL.

And basically, I feel this need to cleanse myself off all this ’til I’m good enough, oh what I need is a good defense because I’m feeling like a criminal.

No wait. That IS Fiona Apple.

One thought on “Bless me father for I have shirked.

  1. Joe Cocker

    Don’t let the creative process become a monster and consume you….Unless it is a decent obsession

Leave a Reply