There’s this old movie with Billy Mumy (Danger Will Robinson!) and Jimmy Stewart called Dear Brigitte. Adorable little red headed genius Bill has a thing for Brigitte Bardot. He sends love letters to Ms Bardot and winds up getting invited to visit her. I saw the film years ago, back when I was heavily into my Brady Bunch years, back when meeting the star of your choice seemed like such a simple task.
All it took were a few letters.
Marcia Brady did it with Davy Jones.
Billy Mumy did it with Brigitte Bardot.
Lisa Simpson did it with meeting the creator of Malibu Stacey.
In this info-tech-high-speed day and age I was hoping I cold forego the letter writing. I mean WHO writes letters these days? When was the last time anyone wrote to you–on paper? I thought it would be enough for me to mention, on a public forum, how I’d really love Kevin Bacon to friend me on Facebook.
Oh all right, I have my six degrees down, thanks to Meemers and the Todd Stashwick connection, but I’m still waiting, eagerly, for the Kev-man to SUPERPOKE me.
Or send me a box of Snyder’s of Hanover Sourdough hard pretzels.
Or maybe some ice cream sandwiches
Or pop in for a visit and ask me to go the school dance with him and Kyra.
Since none of that has happened, I propose revamping and updating Dear Brigitte and weaving Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon into a romantic comedy titled Dear Kevin, only instead of a precocious red-headed boy, you’ll have me, in all my tri-colour, pointy-faced Oldbitey glory, writing to Mr Bacon, and someone like Clive Owen (or Simon Baker) as the leading man.
Well, come on, think about it. An Affair to Remember was a plot device used in Sleepless in Seattle! My idea will so work! The soundtrack will feature Squeeze. Glenn Tilbrook can do the score. I’ll do my own stunts.
And Kevin can make a cameo, just like he did in Planes Trains, and Automobiles.
And then maybe he’ll friend me on Facebook.