We’ve missed out on having one for the last two years, so I when I made the invitation for our Christmas 2008 soiree, I went a little nuts.

I used a theme.

No, not A Theme, as in Ralphie’s worst school nightmare in A Christmas Story (which the locals here haven’t embraced, just as they’ve never embraced Old Man Potter or George Bailey, I’ll love you ’til the day I die It’s A Wonderful Life), but something sinister, something slightly off kilter, something horrifying, something that included a kid drawing a pistol…on Mr. Kringle from Miracle on 34th Street.

Or was it Mr Kruger from Nightmare on Elm Street?

I guess this is where I confess how I really wanted to have a Halloweenie Party.

Halloween is probably the second or third most commercialised holiday on the North American calendar, after Christmas. It’s a toss up to see which one generates more sales, but I’m willing to bet Halloween woudl beat out Valentine’s Day, seeing how H’ween includes children in the mass consumerism and mass consumption of chocolate.

But I digress…

When styling my Christmas invitation, I first thought of Santa. A Retro Santa. So I did a search and came up with a few disturbing images of Santa, images that, like Halloween, smack of consumerism, but consumerism as it’s American advertising iconic roots…

And this made me think of the Glen with one n, you know, Uber-terrorist Hans Gruber, I mean, Alan Rickman’s double, because Alan and Glen are the only people I know who still smoke. Besides Santa and his taste for Lucky Strikes.

Then I remembered a photo that sits on a shelf back at the Elderbitey’s place. It’s Big Bitey when he was just a little nipper, a sepia-toned snapshot of his life in the late 40s or early 50s. It was my Inspiration and a theme was born, much like the Christ Child.

Well not really.

 But I went Berserk. 

      I made a collage.            
               And I laughed my ass off the whole time.
 

  Ya’ll realise I’m proud of myself for hitting on such gold.  Now I just have to figure out How I’m going to use this in a work of  prizewinning non-fiction because you KNOW this is just one Christmas book no one’s stumbled up on doing yet. It would be a fine example of Holiday mass consumerism, just like those little chocolate crapping reindeer and pumpkin-shaped peeps!

Hello, Katie Sue? I have a book proposal!