Let’s take a moment to discuss services sometimes referred to as Beauty Therapy. For you unbaptised, that’s your waxing, facials, seaweed body wraps, massage, mani and pedicures, body exfoliation, electrolysis for permanent hair removal, Aromatherapy and anal bleaching.

Yes. You read that last one correctly.

A local Spa advertises Anal Bleaching in their list of services. It comes right after eyebrow waxing and lash tinting. It’s not clear if it’s for dudes or ladies. There’s no description of what exactly this process entails, but one can certainly imagine the bleach isn’t gonna be your standard bottle of Clorox. 

So, how does one go about asking for such a service? Does a guy walk in and say, "Hi, I’m here to have my back, crack and sac done, and while we’re at it how about bleaching my anal pore."

Ok, so when you stop laughing, like I just did, ask yourself WHY someone would want this process done.

Did you think, Dear Lord, isn’t waxing it all off enough?

All right, all right, I’ll admit a certain level of curiosity. I’m going to go in to this Beauty Therapy shop–with what I hope will be a straight face–and ask what it’s all about. I’m going to ask who and how and WTF. And No, I will not opt to have it done.

First I’ll dare you to.

Then I’ll go home and assign this particular beautifying service to a character because something this weird is just begging to be a character quirk–or a discussion between two characters…