What’s the most idiotic thing you’ve ever thought about doing, something that seemed like a great idea, but was potentially dangerous in some way? Maybe you considered leaping off the garage roof with the patio umbrella, just to see if it would act like a parachute. You made it as far as the studio table in a tattoo joint before you realised that Hula girl you wanted on your upper arm might one day dance on her own, without you flexing. Cornrows looked damn fine on Angela Bassett, Alicia Keys, and Bo Derek, and you just knew they could on you too. Or perhaps, like me, you’ve contemplated doing a PhD.
Yes, that’s what I said. Another post grad degree. I finished off the masters 8 months ago and now I’m thinking, hmmm what sort of thing would keep me from ironing, eat up all my free time, my writing time AND possibly damage my relationship with Shrinky? I know, I’ll do a PhD!
I lived though Shrinky’s and he survived my MA. I know I can do it, don’t I? I know he could do it (even if he kicked and screamed and pouted and whinged the entire time), right? It’s part time. I could do part time, right?
This is where you, dear Bitey-ites, come into play. I’m asking you to show me the error of my contemplation. Point out the insanity or HUGE things that haven’t crossed my mind. Or not. Say, well, gosh durn it OB, You shore as sheet can do a PhD and I’ll be thrilled to call you Dr Oldbitey (Thanks, Little Bitey). You’ll get better service in Hotels. Flight attendants will mistakenly ask if you can tend to the ill passenger in seat 71A.
Please. It’s your turn. Yea or nay? Let’s discuss this because I don’t know what to do. I’m poised on the edge of the garage roof. Sure, the umbrella is heavy, mighty heavy, but I’ve got a good grip on it and honestly, it doesn’t look that far to the ground to me. Are the odds against me? Will I break my leg or worse, my hands, my stumpy little hands, and never be able to use my keyboard skills to write a well-loved novel again?
Hmm. Maybe I simply need a manicure.