The one where oldbitey feels especially fauxnee.

Behold! The humble recliner.
The Lay-Z-boy. The Barcalounger. Climb aboard, kick back and relax.

The trouble is, it’s not at all as relaxing as it looks. It squeaks and farts when you sit in it. You stick to it when it’s hot and that because its not real leather.
In fact, what you see is not a real recliner at all. It’s a knockoff.
It’s a designer fake with a couple of degrees.
It’s me.
I’m having a day of self doubt, a day where I wonder, "What the hell was I thinking when clearly I don’t know how to think?!" I’m admitting this here and now. I have no idea what I’m doing. Stage 2 Proposal? Nope, it can’t be done.

[Insert maniacal laughter here.]

Phony. Faux. Ersatz.
Think of me as Pleather.
I AM Naugahyde.

No. Make that Genuine Imitation Naugahyde.

Gee, isn’t that a great title for a book.
No you can’t steal it for your title, because its something I’m writing when I’m not being a REAL BFF, and that’s BIG Fat FAKER, not Best Friend Forever.

2 thoughts on “The one where oldbitey feels especially fauxnee.

  1. the power of the Phd compels you! The power of the PhD compels you!!!

    that’s the movie priest of your choice exorcising your self doubt. Me, I always think of Gabriel Byrne, all broody and gorgeous in Stigmata, but you should not feel bound to my choices 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.