There Can Be But One Explanation: Or What Would Cole Porter Say?

Here is the News: CNN’s Talk show host Larry King is set to dee-vorce his eighth wife.

Now I don’t know about you, but there’s something about a man who’s been married eight times, like Larry baby.

And Mickey Rooney.

                         Robert Evans had seven wives.     
Great Balls o’fire Jerry Lee Lewis had six.
Billy Bob Thornton chalked up five.

William ‘Kirk to Shaternprise’ had four.

Sigh…There’s something about a man who Just. Keeps. Trying. Don’t you think?

What is it about these guys anyway? Is it the hair? Because there seems to be a lot of it. Have you seen those photos of Larry with wild, wind-blown hair? Rooney’s got that classic 40s swoop. Evan’s has that 70’s thing happenin’. Jerry Lee’s locks were a trademark 50s bad boy. Billy Bob’s goes wild with his facial do’s. Shatner’s hair…well, Shatner’s toupee is legendary.  And you can bet that toupee is made of real human hair so it’s still hair.

If it’s not the hair, is it the glasses then? Three of our champion dudes o’ matrimony are wearing specs. Big bad specs.

Oh, pardon my sexism. Let’s remember the ladies too! Zsa Zsa Gabor tops the keep on marryin‘ list with nine, yes NINE, husbands. Elizabeth Taylor and Lana Turner tie with eight. And it’s five each for Joan Collins and Geena Davis (not bad for a MENSA babe).

It’s fairly easy to poke fun of serial marriers. But despite the fact they keep doing it over and over, the heart of the matter is they clearly believe in something. All right, you may argue that it’s lust, or security, or someone to clean up after you, or a being short a couple of IQ points, but our MENSA member Geena Davis blows that point outta the water. It could well be one of those things.

Or it could be that theses people believe in the Voodoo that you do. They might just believe in Romance.

They very well may believe in Love.

Awwwww.

There’s been recent speculation that Elizabeth Taylor will marry for a ninth time. Although her publicist denies it, there may be some truth to the gossip.

If you ask me, I bet Larry will beat her to the alter. Or maybe Larry’s divorcing wife # 8 so he can make the lady with the Violet Eyes his bride #9.

Of course, if this were a romance novel, the heroine would be punished for her serial marriagehood, while the hero would be redeemed because he finally found the ‘right woman.’ Could Liz Taylor be Larry King’s redemption?
 

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