Perhaps some of y’all will remember my theory of why Vampire Paranormals sell so well? If you don’t, or if you haven’t ever been a faithful Bitey-ite, allow me to revisit that theory. But first, I have to admit I don’t "get" the fascination with weres or supes for that matter (save Sam Merlott–come on, a collie? Loveable). I can embrace vampires. Sort of. There was a time I was big into tortured, brooding Louis In Interview With The Vampire and I love me some Bill Compton, but my theory about why vampires sell revolves around the very nature of vampires. They never age. The lure of the vampire is all about the youth-fixated, youth-aimed, youth-embracing media. Vampires perpetuate a big ol’ myth. Gee, if you’re a vampire, you get to live forever. You get to be ageless and beautiful forever. As I said back in 2008 "Hell, no wonder paranormals are hot. At $20 a book, reading about a gorgeous, thin person with a fabulous night life is a cheaper fantasy than $300 a pop for Botox or even bigger spondoolies for a nose job."
I still think that. I still believe that is why we, as romance readers and YA readers, are innundated with Twilight clones. Allow me to issue an apology before I go on. Sorry if I offend the supe-lovin’-were-cuddlers out there, but I am ready for this shape-shifting paranormal trend to fade like a vampire in the sun. I want someone to curb those dogs. Look, I’m not talking Stake ’ems, or Steak ‘ums (Oldbitey is vegetarian, after all). I don’t want all Vampires to die off, or all weres on a leash. I simply want more variety in my book store, more room on the shelves for other kinds of romance. Oh, all right I want MORE contemporary romance.
What trend is going to come next? There’s speculation it’s already here with the Amish Romance. I think that’s a passing fancy. Living forever is a big dream for some, but Living Amish? Well, with iPods, Twitter, and disposable diapers I don’t think so. So here’s my suggestion for a HOT NEW TREND!
Know how once you’re over 50 you’re life is basically over and you’re pretty much dead, which means have no sex life? Who’s interested in romance and sex when your heart’s stopped, you only look good in the dark, and you’ve sprouted hair all over your body? Gee, that sounds like the beginning of a paranormal, dunnit? Well, think again. Seventy-eight million romance-reading Baby Boomers (and the entering their 40s Gen-Xers) with money to burn are gearing up to make noise.
Hell, they’re already making noise, they’ve put a few ripples in the pool when it comes to TV shows like Saving Grace, The Closer, and Cougar Town (ill wind to the person who gave the show that title). Hollywood is starting to catch on with movies, like Something’s Gotta Give and It’s Complicated. Eventually, I believe Publishers, who are always looking for the NEXT BIG THING will get this. Somebody (like me and the ladies at Facebook’s OnPAR) will knock it into their head. They will pick up stories with heroines over 40. Yes, that’s right people. In this next trend, you’re going to be able to read ROMANCE Fiction (not Women’s Fiction) about beautiful 40 and 50 somethings falling in love.
And there will be sex scenes in those books.
Oh, please! Who’s being prudish now? Don’t you DARE groan or cringe or think that your parents only ever did it once on a cloud and begat the miracle of you. If you can take the blood-soaked sex scene, the transforming supe sex scenes, surely you can accept the fact people over 40 fall in love and boink like crazed weasels.
Mind you, this is pure speculation. But I’d be willing to make a bet something’s gonna change. Ageing is gonna be HAWTT. Or Maybe it will all be about sexy Amish beards and barn raisings.