A couple a weeks ago I made a statement about how stores would be a-rollin’ out the Christmas Cheer before the end of September. I hate to say I told you so, but damn and all that, I told you so.

All I was interested in this morning, besides feeding the iced latte beast, was getting a new pair of glasses. The nice lady at my local discount department Mart-Mart store had rung to tell me the in-store optical shop had a delivery of new shrimp-sized frames that would fit my shrimp-sized head. Prescription in hand, I toddled off to the the magical land of vision correction. I was a little early and had to wait for the optical shop part of the Mart-Mart to open. As a result, I wandered about the rest of the store. I passed though the DVD & electronic goods department, made my way around the underwear and sock area, paused to peruse the pyjamas. As I made my way back to the Optical Shop, my eye caught the glint of purple tinsel.

My verbalised train of thoughts followed this route:
Purple tinsel? What the HELL is up with purple tinsel? Charlie Brown had a better Christmas tree than that fake-ass piece of crap. Holy shit, that’s a Christmas tree!  Scuse, me, ma’am, (I say to passing shopper) can you tell me the date? September 23 (passing shopper replies). September 23? Yeah (passing shopper says), it’s September and what the HELL is up with Purple tinsel?

Yes, my dear elfin Biteyites. Look closely at that photo to the right. It’s true. On this, the last day of Northern Hemisphere summer and the start of Southern Spring, consumerism deems it’s time for Santa to take a decorative September dump on the shopping centres and department stores.

I had no choice but to head to the Optical Shop, order a new pair of glasses and ask for a triple shot in my iced, 2 pump sugar-free vanilla latte.