Screw The Boomtown Rats!

TuesMonday, ya think you’re all fancy because you’re like the first day of the work week and everybody hates you and that Irish guy, Sir Bob Geldof, who did Live Aid with his band in the 80s and scored big with that Monday song that everyone only knows the chorus to.

Yeah, okay, Monday you get your own songs, the kind that usually moan about it being you. I know you you know What I mean, Monday. I know the songs. I sing them too. There’s the Bangles’ Manic Monday, The Mamas and Papas Monday, Monday, The Boomtown Rats I Don’t Like Mondays. You think you’re hot shit. But if we look at things closely, Monday, most people are shell-shocked, half-asleep, or zombies on you. That somnambulistic state of mind cushions the fact that it is no longer the weekend. The good thing is, that numbness lasts until it is Tuesday.

The bad news is, it’s actually Tuesdays that are worse than you, Monday because on Tuesday you’ve gotten over your hangover, your sleepwalking, your shock that it’s a new work week. T-Bone Walker knew this when he wrote They Call It Stormy Monday (But Tuesday’s Just As Bad). Yes, Monday, you DO exude your own brand of crap, but Tuesdays throw the crap at you and that crap is like a snowball made of crap wrapped around a stone of petrified crap, which always seems to hit you square in the face.

When your mouth is open.

My Tuesday started with that very special moment when I buttered my fruit toast, sprinkled on cinnamon sugar, took a bite and discovered the cinnamon was garlic powder.

Perhaps you’ve had a Tuesday like this, only you poured milk in your coffee and realised, upon your all important first gulp o’ joe, that the milk had spoiled overnight. You did? Well, Welcome to Tuesday, sucker!

Other things I blame on Tuesday? One book I am reading, an early 90s historical romance has over-long 80s-style rapey-ish sex scenes. The other book I am reading is a romantic suspense which has zero chemistry between the leads, a done-to-death serial killer plot and maybe 2% romance (and it’s a bestselling book). The book I am writing has stalled.

It has taken me since 7am to write this Tuesday post.

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