Bob the Sparky: My Shock Absorber

Yesterday, I told you of my dusty horror of kitchen renovating. Part of my Kitchen Renovation means moving power points — or electrical sockets for all you in the US.  You already kbobnow I’m all about CLEAN, but did you know I’m also an advocate of “Safety First?” So instead of a DIY home handyman job of handling potentially deadly wires that zap, we hired an Electrician. Smart, huh?

In Australia, land where everyone and everything has a nickname, an electrician is known as a Sparky. A bricklayer is a a Brickie, a carpenter is a Chippie, and a plumber is…a plumber. I asked our plumber-turned barista and musician friend, Matt, about this lack of diminutive name for plumbers. He suggested — no real surprise — Shittie, on account of how plumber has to deal with sinks and toilets, and clogged pipes, and instances where backyard sewerage pipes turned into “fountains of brown.” Remember that the next time you bitch about paying a plumber. Out of respect for all the literal crap they have to deal with, plumbers aren’t assigned a nickname. They are simply PLUMBERS.

Anyhow, our sparky is named Bob. Bob the Sparky.

Bob is awesome. Bob is probably 60-ish. He wears ink blue work shorts and an ink blue, short sleeve work shirt that is tucked into his ink blue boxer shorts that covers the crack that plumbers have.  Bob is a wall of ink blue with a trimmed biker beard (safety first) and grey hair. Best of all, Bob makes SPARKY PUNS!!

When he met an excited, wiggling Budman, Bob said,  “Well aren’t you a live one!”

When I asked Bob how long he’s been a sparky, he said, “Thirty years, but I like to stay current.”

When Dr Shrinkee started to ask questions about how old the wiring in the kitchen was, Bob said, “If you want to conduct a serious conversation, I’ll have to charge you more.”

Bob’s puns made the mess he made in the already horrifyingly messy kitchen almost bearable. I got a real charge out of Bob.  With his help, the dusty mess in my house doesn’t hertz so much.

All Hail Bob the Sparky, wrangler of electric danger, teller of puns!bob2

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