Seventy-five Days of Phobias- Day 12: Worse Than Lunaediesophobia

indexIf it’s not one thing it’s an otter– the fear of otters, that is. In other words, if otters scare the pants off you, then you have Lutraphobia. Or maybe after reading that first line you have a different terror. Maybe you suffer from Adnominatiophobia, the fear of puns.

Clearly I do not suffer from either affliction. Nor do I have logophobia, a fear of words, which is a good thing considering I’m a writer who thinks otters are adorable, loves words…and puns. Today, in this continuing series, which stems from my phobia-tinged upcoming release Driving in Neutral, I ponder what some refer to as Moan-day.

Perhaps you are filled with dread, you break out in a cold sweat, despite that electric blanket you have set to high, you wake 7 to 8 times at night and watch the clock advance ever forward towards the inescapable, terrifying impending doom that is lunaediesophobia.

Yes, kids, the Mamas and the Papas know all about it and sing it so prettily. Lunaediesophobia =  that bone deep fear of Mondays. Have a squizz at the lyrics.

Monday, Monday, so good to me
Monday morning, it was all I hoped it would be
Oh, Monday morning, Monday morning couldn’t guarantee
That Monday evening, you would still be here with me

Monday, Monday, can’t trust that day
Monday, Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh, Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be
Oh, Monday, Monday, how could you leave and not take me?

Every other day, every other day
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes
But whenever Monday comes
You can find me crying all of the time

Monday, Monday, so good to me
Monday morning, it was all I hoped it would be
But Monday morning, Monday morning couldn’t guarantee
That Monday evening, you would still be here with me

Every other day, every other day
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes
But whenever Monday comes
You can find me crying all of the time

Monday, Monday, can’t trust that day
Monday, Monday, it just turns out that way
Oh, Monday, Monday, won’t go away
Monday, Monday, it’s here to stay

Oh Monday, Monday
Oh Monday, Monday

Songwriters John Phillips & John Edmund Andrew

Monday, Monday, as the song says, it’s here to stay. To you, one line ought to be ‘Oh, Sunday evening how could you leave and not take me?‘ Because whenever Monday comes we can find you crying all of the time. Mondays don’t make me cry. Oh, no. I save all my cryin’ for my martisphobia, my fear of Tuesdays, because Tuesdays aren’t even good enough to be Mondays. Tuesday is not like the otters. Tuesdays totally bite.h5AAD5F3C

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