Seventy-Five Days of Phobias – Day 13: Cate Ellink Says Something Inappropriate

foot in mouthEmerson, the hero in Driving in Neutral has an inability to keep his mouth shut, which means he’s very familiar with the flavour of foot-in-mouth.

Cate Ellink confesses that she can relate to this.

I’d like a dollar for every time my brain should have moved into gear before my mouth – I’d be rich! The trouble is, people (like my Dad and hubby) warn me after the event and it’s way too late then.

Sometimes it’s timing and place that are all wrong. Like at Mum’s funeral, at the graveside, it suddenly dawned on me that I hadn’t paid attention to the discussion on the plot. I turned to Dad and said, “Sorry, I don’t remember, but are you going in there too?” I mean, God, not the thing to ask any time, let alone at the graveside staring at the hole in the ground.

I’m pretty bad with kids because I encourage them to try CateEllink_smallthings – sometimes not what their mothers would like. For example, I’ll catch a bug and invite the kid (not just a random, one I know) to put their hand out to let the bug crawl over them. Mothers scream about this. I’m not entirely sure why. I mean the bug’s harmless, much smaller than the kid. I’m never entirely sure what I’ve done wrong…but a screaming mother means I’ve said something inappropriate, again.

Sometimes I have inappropriate conversations, apparently. I’m kind of blunt. If someone asks my opinion, my honest opinion, then I mistakenly think that’s exactly what they want to hear – usually it’s not. One friend told me she was ready to leave her partner but if there was anything I thought she did wrong that might help fix things, would I tell her. So I did. It took her three years to speak to me again.


Cate or me? I think it’s MY heart that skips a beat.

My fear, Dystychiphobia (the fear of hurting oneself or others) is about embarrassing or upsetting the people around me. I have no intention of doing that. I like most of the people around me, so to say something to hurt them is never in my plan – I just don’t think it through before I blurt.

I like words and emails. I write a draft, leave it a while, tone it down, leave it a little longer, tone it down again, give it to someone (like hubby) to check, and tone it down some more. Voila! No longer inappropriate.

Shame my mouth can’t wait for all that editing!



Cate became intrigued by the erotic when her grandfather used to pass books to her father saying, “Don’t let the girls read page X.”  Cate’s the author of The Virginity Mission, A Real Online Fantasy, and Pain Surfer.  

Deep Diving, Cate’s newest novel comes out 1 August. 

Find out more about Cate and her books at


Facebook author page:

Twitter: @CateEllink

3 thoughts on “Seventy-Five Days of Phobias – Day 13: Cate Ellink Says Something Inappropriate

  1. Your blog doesn’t like my comments 😦

    Thanks for having me, Sandra. I’m glad your hero has the same problem as me. I have even more reason to read your next book!

    Thanks Imelda for your comment…and I’m happy not to be offended with you!

    Cate xox


  2. Ooh, Cate, put your finger on a hot button there! I’m better than I used to be but my weakness is accidental rudeness. I have been deliberately rude to someone approximately three times in my life, but accidentally? Oh dear. I’ll do you a deal. I won’t get offended if you won’t! ‘Kay? 😉


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