A wise man named Franklin Roosevelt (yes, that’s right, Eleanor Roosevelt’s husband, Franklin Roosevelt, the US president from 1933 to 1945) once said something really very pithy about fear and fearing fear. Author Wendy L Curtis knows all about this fearing of fear.
I pride myself on being a logical person and I find myself saying a lot to others “Spiders are way smaller than us we can kill them with one stomp or swing of a shoe heel, I don’t get why people are scared of them.”
But fears, phobias, things that put the wind up us, aren’t driven by logic. They pay no mind to matter-of-factness and they sure as Hell don’t care if you are ‘too grown up to be worried by them now’. Give me any every day situation and I may never pick one thing I’m scared of (I realised by age 14 that Jaws definitely was not coming up my toilet :-/) but ask me to watch a spooky or overly graphic violence in a movie with you? No way.
The problem is it doesn’t have to even be a movie, it might be a TV show, like say, X-Files. Dating myself a bit there hey? But sadly, no True Blood, or Hunger Games, or American Horror Story or the like. Any movies I have had to watch that are horror or suspense I have had to find a way to remove myself from soaking them up into my mind.
I have some exceptions being Dr Who (Ha) oh, come on, it was scary as a kid! Supernatural (although I still turn away from the more graphic bits) and I can pretty much read books that are scary or more graphic. Weird. They still give me the heeby jeebies but I can get through them. When it’s on the screen, it’s like overload.
I think I’m just scared of being scared. I hate it when people hide in things and jump out and frighten others, or hide around the corner, or sneak up in the dark. I don’t like it. I’m always like, you shouldn’t do that, and you could give someone a heart attack or something. Please don’t do that. Okay that may come across as slightly more calm then when I actually say it…but yeah.
I also have real triggers, things I just cannot do, no matter what. Vampires for one. *shudder* not the sparkly in the sun ones, but the real, bona fide, old-fashioned vamps that would come in and drink your blood to kill you or turn you. The scary ones. Not the half sexy ones, or the tortured ones, or the ones who wish to be human again. Damn scary stuff. It’s gets in the head and well, rest assured I never invite anyone in unless I’m damn certain they aren’t a vampire, cos once they are in then you are toast!
Torture is also the biggest ick factor, graphic ewwwww that I cannot handle. The thought of it is bad, but seeing it is too much for me. Just a big old sook when it comes to that. Graphic violence of any sort also has the same effect on me. Won’t watch it, don’t ask me.
I mean, it’s not even real! It’s people acting. It isn’t really happening, it’s special effects, and makeup, and yada yada. Nup. Not watching. Sorry.
What do I watch on TV? Not a lot. Is there even a phobia named for being scared of being scared? I’m not sure. I’m sure I can’t be the only one, can I?
(Yes there is, Wendy. Fear of fear is called Phobophobia. So, as good Ol’ Franklin Roosevelt said, you have nothing to fear but fear itself.)