Seventy-five Days of Phobias Day 26: Author MA Grant is a Twinkie.

twinkieTo celebrate the upcoming release of my third novel, Driving in Neutral—a love story about claustrophobia—I am running the 75 Days of Phobia series. Today, Alaskan MA Grant divulges there’s something that turns her a spongy, golden twinkie yellow.

As a human, I realize that I am one of the soft, squishy Twinkies of the natural world. I have no defenses but my vicious rhetoric and my opposable thumbs, which are immediately rendered useless for opening door knobs or food containers after lotion has been put on. And, as a supposedly evolved Twinkie, my basic evolutionary response is keyed in to recognize predators that could do me harm and therefore avoid them.

Great WhiteSuch as great white sharks, which can easily be avoided by not going into the ocean.

Or poisonous animals, which can easily (and regrettably) be avoided by never fulfilling my lifelong dream of visiting Australia.

But, most importantly, this response exists to protect me from the greatest threat humanity has ever faced.

I live in Alaska. Throw me a grizzly, a wolf, heck, even an angry beaver, any day of the week. But put me in the proximity of a primate and watch me devolve into a stinky, sweaty ball of panic.

My crippling fear of our simian brethren was most recently revived at a showing of the new X-Men film. My husband and I were peacefully watching trailers when the Dawn of the Planet of the Apes was sprung on me. As my husband saw forward and oohed and aahed over the impressive special effects, I scrunched down in my seat and took stock of my sweaty palms, speeding heart rate, and rising sense of nausea. I debated leaving the theater, and it was only the promise of watching Michael Fassbender that helped me through those traumatizing two minutes.

When the trailer finished and I reminded myself for the fourteenth billion time that the events of Planet of the Apes franchise couldn’t happen (yet), my husband finally looked over and recognized my panic.

We have been together for a decade. He has seen me take ridiculously long detours around sections of zoos to avoid the primate area. He warns me when zombie movies show the innocent little critters trapped in cages (after they’ve already spread the mutated zombie virus, I might remind you). He lets me fast forward past the winged monkeys in The Wizard of Oz. And he still asked me, “You’re going to see it with me right?”

Yes, dear. Because this:

filmz.ru

and this:Eviler Monke

make me feel like this:

Happy Woman It’s a good thing he’s cute.

When her husband is not trying to woo his way back into her good graces, M.A. Grant can be found putzing through new story ideas in her Alaskan cabin. Her heroes and heroines must all face tBlood Moon Cover Matteheir fears to find their happily ever after, and Connor Sinclair in Blood Moon (releasing Aug. 1st) is definitely going up against a doozy: his father.

Find out more about Connor and others’ stories at www.marionaudreygrant.com.

Blog:  http://marionaudreygrant.blogspot.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarionAudreyGrant

Twitter: https://twitter.com/AuthorMAGrant

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7141845.M_A_Grant

Amazon Page: http://www.amazon.com/M.A.-Grant/e/B00DOEZHSE

2 thoughts on “Seventy-five Days of Phobias Day 26: Author MA Grant is a Twinkie.

  1. Thanks for having me by, Sandra! It’s a pleasure to be in such marvelous, fearful company (although after reading the other posts, I might have to expand my fears to some new areas).

    Like

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